Don’t be a passive husband. Stand up and step into the role of a husband to function as God intended you to. Take the authority God has given you as the head or leader in your marriage (1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:23, 1 Timothy 3:5) and kick the devil out of your marriage.
Protect, tend, and strengthen your marriage every day. It’s your responsibility as a husband. Don’t be a cry baby and hide yourself in a cocoon because nothing is working right in your marriage, or your wife has become wayward or not been submitting to you (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1).
If one wheel of a marriage relationship is not working, the second wheel has to grow stronger to bear the weight of the marriage. If your spouse doesn’t show maturity, you can’t afford to do the same. Your marriage will fall apart.
I know it is not easy to keep your marriage from falling apart when you’re the only one fighting for it. But you have to. There’s no other option. Well, there is actually. You can give up on your marriage and run away to your comfort zone. And that’s what the devil wants you to do.
Adam shifted the blame on Eve instead of owning up to the sin he and his wife committed against God in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:12). This part of his life shows him as a weak husband (also read Genesis 3:10). He stepped out of his role as a husband and gave up the authority he received from God, both as a husband and owner of the Garden of Eden.
Eve then shifts the blame to Satan (Genesis 3:13). This is exactly what happens in a marriage where the husband and wife don’t have unity. They play the blame game and the devil enjoys it. They abuse and do evil things against each other. And the devil not only enters their marriage, but also gains authority over it.
This starts with the head or the leader in marriage not taking responsibility, not standing strong in the gate to protect his marriage, and not keeping the devil out of it. Instead of blaming the devil, repent of your sins, ask for forgiveness to God, and cast the devil out of your life, your wife’s life, and your marriage.
Remind the devil it is your marriage, God’s in control of it, and you do not permit him to enter your marriage. Man up, take your authority, confront the devil, and stand up for your marriage.
1 Timothy 2:14 – And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Yes, Adam was not deceived by the devil in the Garden of Eden, but his wife was. He knew it was sin to eat the fruit God had forbidden. So, why did he eat the fruit?
Maybe because Adam knew if his wife eats the fruit, she will face the consequence of death alone and be cast out of the Garden. He may have been worried about her living a life outside the Garden, outside the presence of God.
Adam may have been worried about her well-being and survival outside the Garden. He may have not known what or who lives outside the Garden, and how it could impact his wife. Also, he may have realized she had lost God’s glory after eating the fruit.
But was it right on Adam’s part to eat the fruit too? No. You see, love is not enough to keep your marriage above the water. Yes, Adam may have demonstrated his love for his wife by joining in her sin. He may have sinned with her to protect her or be with her in the consequence.
But at what cost? At the cost of disobeying God’s commandment. At the cost of losing God’s glory. At the cost of losing God’s presence. At the cost of receiving a curse from God.
Sometimes, you need to take difficult decisions to protect your marriage. The consequences could be serious. It could be painful for you. But you gotta stay put and maintain your authority and role in your marriage. The moment you step out of it or become weak as the head or leader in your marriage, you make your marriage and wife vulnerable to the devil.
Adam could have refused to eat the fruit when his wife asked him to. For a matter of fact, he should have known her whereabouts and what she was up to. Where was he when Satan was talking to her? Distancing from your wife will cause problems in your marriage.
Are you so busy that you don’t have time for your marriage or wife? Are you in close communication with your wife? Do you share the Word of God with her, pray with and for her, and worship with her? Are you aware of most of the things in her life? How deeply are you involved in her life?
When was the last time you had a deep conversation with her? Have you asked what she cares about, what bothers her, and what her plans are? Have you asked if you’ve been a great husband to her and things you need to improve on?
Adam could have obeyed God’s commandment and asked for forgiveness for his wife’s sin to God. He could have stepped into his role as a husband and owner of the Garden of Eden and taken the responsibility of his wife and the sin she had committed. He could have asked God for a way out of the sin his wife had committed.
If God can save the whole humanity in the past, present, and future from sin, He could have surely saved one Eve. There are almost 8 billion people living on the earth right now. I am sure it wouldn’t have been difficult for God to make provision for one person’s salvation.
Again, love is not enough to save your marriage. You need God! Don’t try to be a hero and leave God outside the gate, thinking all you need is love to sustain your marriage. This only works in movies, not in real life. In real life, if you do this stunt, you will face serious consequences in your marriage.
It may present you as a harsh husband on the outside when you don’t get involved in your wife’s sin, don’t compromise, or don’t put up with your wife’s mistakes. But the end result is victory for you and your wife, a God-protected marriage, and blessings and mercy from God.
Sometimes, you need to take those tough decisions, say those tough things, and do those tough things in marriage to protect it. But that’s what you are expected to do as the head or leader in your marriage.
At the same time, know that she is your wife – the one you’ve exchanged marriage vows with, the one whom you vowed to be with her in good and bad, until death does you apart, and the one you’ve shared your marriage bed with. No matter if she commits the worst sin, you would still love her and kiss her the same you kissed her for the first time.